Dear Joe

I know many have thought  “Who is this Joe?” “What on earth is she doing?””Is this guy nuts?!”

Well, this is Joe———————>

Some people come into your life for a short time but they are exactly what you need in that moment. Joe was that for me.

Joe and I started talking online just before Thanksgiving. My first Thanksgiving without Josh. He stayed through Josh’s first birthday being gone, our First Christmas without him and we almost made it to Amelia’s first birthday without her daddy but alas, we have called it quits.

Neither one of really saw it coming but when you jump in with both feet, deep conversations come later. This past week faith was brought into the picture.

I am a believer and he is not. He is still a wonderful person and a great dad to his girls but after days of debating and running through every possible scenario on how it could work, we realized it just wasn’t going to. 

We were right for each other but we weren’t right for eachother’s children. Another thing we had in common was putting our children first.

I have to admit I didn’t see us calling it quits. We were so much alike, “you me same” but there were a lot of differences and the biggie fell on faith.

I can compromise to a certain extent in life but I cannot give up on my faith. I have every reason to believe God doesn’t exist but I still do.

Life is never easy but you just have to make it worth it.

“When you see nothing but damaged goods, I see something good in the making, I’m not finished yet, When you see wounded, I see mended” -Matthew West “Mended”.

Dear Joe, if you’re reading this, know that you are a wonderful dad, person and partner. The way you love is appreciated and what you’ve been through changed you for the better. I am glad that I met you when I did and I’m grateful you stayed as long as you could. Even if it was only a short while.  You were exactly what I needed in those moments and yes, I thank God that you came into my life. You breathed life back into me and put a smile on my face. You made me feel loved through my brokenness and showed me it was all possible.  You allowed me to be broken, allowed me to be silly, and you even thought I was funny!
 I would have otherwise spent the rest of my life shooting every happy thought down because “Why would anyone want to love someone as broken as me?” We wanted to be apart of each others lives and saw every aspect of it working out and it’s tough knowing it didn’t. It hurts. But because you came and stayed when you did, you will forever be apart of my life because you helped me get to where I am right now, in this moment. 

Joe, I was a boat stuck in a bottle and you put wind back in my sails. I cannot say thank you enough for being you. I wish you the best of luck and pray you find happiness. Thank you for becoming apart of my journey!