Hello and thank you for visiting my site. If you are here because you have found yourself wandering after loss, I am sorry and truly hope you can find inspiration through my story. If you are here because you are continuing to follow my journey as I make it my own, thank you!
In June of 2016, my husband Josh was diagnosed with Leukemia. He underwent a bone marrow transplant just before my 29th birthday. Never had I imagined that would be the last birthday I was able to celebrate as a wife. There were many up’s and down’s post transplant but we fought them hard and together. In April of 2017, Josh went into respiratory distress as the donor cells had begun to attack his lungs. He recovered but would again grow weak and this would happen many more times until July 27, 2017 at 12:34 when his body gave in and his heart stopped beating.
My life and dreams of what should have been were shattered as I lay crying next to his lifeless body.
Over the next few months as we had to face our first holidays and birthdays without such an incredible man, I continued to journal on his Caring Bridge site, something I had done from the beginning. What was his journey, then turned into our journey and has now transformed into my journey and I intend to make the best of it despite losing the love of my life.
There is no one way to grieve and no one can tell you what you should or should not do.
What you should do however, is find a will within you to keep going because you deserve so much more than the pain you’ve been left with. When life hands you a pile of shit, grab a shovel and make a new path.
This journey is mine but it is for the memory of Josh. He always wanted me to be happy and I will strive to find a new happy along my journey while keeping his memory alive in my heart and in my mind.
